Thursday, September 24, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Damn You, Gaga
I really, really wanted to hate Lady Gaga. I mean I really wanted to hate her: the bitch kept walking around outside in flesh colored leotards with bows made out of her own hair atop her head.
But, alas, she has officially grown on me. It started when I saw her live at the House of Blues (she can actually sing, which was pretty shocking), and then grew with the tea cup she kept toting around, and then she had to go and dress like a giant used tampon for the VMAs, and there was no going back for me. And now I just saw the video for "Paparazzi", and all of that insanity + Eric from TrueBlood = I Love Lady Gaga.
Minnie Mouse get-up and all.
But, alas, she has officially grown on me. It started when I saw her live at the House of Blues (she can actually sing, which was pretty shocking), and then grew with the tea cup she kept toting around, and then she had to go and dress like a giant used tampon for the VMAs, and there was no going back for me. And now I just saw the video for "Paparazzi", and all of that insanity + Eric from TrueBlood = I Love Lady Gaga.
Minnie Mouse get-up and all.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Oh, Pop Culture
It's a never-ending cycle: one may pass on, but there's always another to pick up the reigns.
What makes this even more amazing is that it's from a TextsFromLastNight entry. God, do I love life.
What makes this even more amazing is that it's from a TextsFromLastNight entry. God, do I love life.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
I Am A Magnet
Like the title implies, I am a magnet for a variety of interesting things, including - but not limited to:
1. Guidos
2. Insane People
3. Potentially Violent Insane People
4. Alcoholics
5. Short, Rotund, Poorly Tattooed Women That Hate Me
6. Hot British Men in Clubs
Okay so #6 is a good thing (god save the queen, was it a good thing), but the rest of it? Not so much. Today I dealt with a death threat aimed at my 14 year old, toothless, harmless, just-shaved-so-is-absurdly-ridiculous-looking dog by a woman in her 40s who then proceeded to throw a tantrum that would make a toddler feel awkward, right after having my aura and energy cleansed by a cashier at Vitamin World. I'm not entirely sure if the last thing is a good one or not, though if I don't wake up tomorrow, we'll all have the answer to that one.
It's like they can always find me; like the flock magnetic North and boom! there I am, just waiting for them, like a Statue of Liberty for the fucking insane. And the Italians from Jersey (or the ones who wish they were from Jersey, if you can even contemplate such a thing) with enough hair gel on their being to choke all of the bottle blonds down the Shore.
At any rate, no work for me today, so that lowered the violence quota exponentially.
1. Guidos
2. Insane People
3. Potentially Violent Insane People
4. Alcoholics
5. Short, Rotund, Poorly Tattooed Women That Hate Me
6. Hot British Men in Clubs
Okay so #6 is a good thing (god save the queen, was it a good thing), but the rest of it? Not so much. Today I dealt with a death threat aimed at my 14 year old, toothless, harmless, just-shaved-so-is-absurdly-ridiculous-looking dog by a woman in her 40s who then proceeded to throw a tantrum that would make a toddler feel awkward, right after having my aura and energy cleansed by a cashier at Vitamin World. I'm not entirely sure if the last thing is a good one or not, though if I don't wake up tomorrow, we'll all have the answer to that one.
It's like they can always find me; like the flock magnetic North and boom! there I am, just waiting for them, like a Statue of Liberty for the fucking insane. And the Italians from Jersey (or the ones who wish they were from Jersey, if you can even contemplate such a thing) with enough hair gel on their being to choke all of the bottle blonds down the Shore.
At any rate, no work for me today, so that lowered the violence quota exponentially.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The Real World is Following Me
Apparently I live in really cool neighborhoods, cause The Real World: Hollywood house was like 3 blocks from my apartment in LA, and the new Real World: DC house is like 3 blocks from my apartment in DC. Interesting. Now if only they'd been filming when I lived there so I could've made a huge ass of myself on national television!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Why Is Pop Culture Dying??
First Ed McMahon, then Farrah, then MJ, now Billy Mays?? Who's going to yell at me from my tv screen and convince me to buy things like the wonder that is OxiClean? Especially with the Shamwow "The Germans make everything better!" Guy in shambles? WHERE IS THE HUMANITY??Goodnight, sweet prince. May you rest in infommercial peace.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Eye See You
So normal vision is 20/20 - that's what your optometrist, if you should need one, will work to get your vision to if you need glasses or contacts. Low vision is anywhere from the 20/60 to 20/400 range (where a -4.00 stands for 20/400 vision) - legally blind (but able to be corrected to 20/20) vision is 20/800.
My mother always had the most notoriously bad eyes in the family; it's a well known fact that without her glasses or contacts, she'll trip over things and walk into doors and such. Her vision is 20/500, or -5.00. My father always said he really hoped my eyes never got that bad.
My eyes as of today?
20/700. That's a -7.00.
I think it's time for lasik.
BRB, switching to my new keyboard:
My mother always had the most notoriously bad eyes in the family; it's a well known fact that without her glasses or contacts, she'll trip over things and walk into doors and such. Her vision is 20/500, or -5.00. My father always said he really hoped my eyes never got that bad.
My eyes as of today?
20/700. That's a -7.00.
I think it's time for lasik.
BRB, switching to my new keyboard:
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