Things I Find on Wikipedia

Now, if I was a doctor, and I was - for some reason - coining syndrome names, I'm pretty sure that the word "floppy" would never be included in my list of possibilities. The term has a bit of a humorous conotation, and, for the majority of people, humorous terms aren't supposed to be used to describe any syndrome that an infant has. Unless it's Winston Churchill Syndrome, which my parents gleefully used to describe me, because I went through a several month period in which I could've hidden coins, shoes, or Switzerland in my jowls. But I digress.

I was playing on Wikipedia, looking up when to take my Ativan for tomorrow's flight (because if you don't know by now, I do not enjoy flying under any circumstance, even if I'm going somewhere awesome) and happened to find a link to the Floppy Infant Syndrome page. Whoa whoa whoa, what? I know, I had the same reaction.

Apparently Floppy Infant Syndrome is when infant's have the "condition of abnormally low muscle tone (the amount of tension or resistance to movement in a muscle), often involving reduced muscle str

ength." So, granted, not hilarious per se, but it's easily managed if you catch it early enough, so really it's not like I'm being a bad person for being overly joyful about this name. 

I mean seriously, the possibilities of what you can do with a Floppy Baby are endless:

- Fold them up for easy travel

- Decorative coverlet

- ShamWow substitute 

- Stretch Armstrong-esque amusement for your other children

- You know how putty can be used to take impressions of newspaper? Yeah, that

- For some reason I'm assuming they bounce

I also think they'd fit nicely in your sock drawer - and I say this because my parents put me in a sock drawer for the first few months of my life, and while I was admittedly a preemie, I certainly wasn't able to be folded up for convenient storage, so I'm really not sure how that worked. Thanks, mom, dad. So if you've ever wondered why I'm the way I am, blame my parents and their dresser.