Heil Donald?

Ho....ly fucking shit. I've heard of the Academy Award winning (for Animated Shorts) anti-nazi propaganda film that Disney made - the premise being that Donald Duck has a nightmare that he's a nazi - but I'd never seen it until someone posted in on OhNoTheyDidnt (randomly, on a posting about Disney working with Hulu.)

There's something vaguely horrifying about Donald heil-ing Hitler, but the assembly line scene with the pictures is fucking hilarious (if deeply disturbing, because, minus the cartoon figures, I'm sure that totally happened.)

New England Spring

Yesterday at 3pm it was 93 degrees in Boston.



Today at 3pm it was 53 degrees in Boston.




Tonight we might have frost by the shore.

Man, do I love Boston Springs! Three seasons in one - you can't just find that anywhere.

I Love SomethingAwful.com

Things I love:

- 80+ degrees days on the water
- getting a little pink but not sunburned, so I won't fry in CA
- SomethingAwful.com when I'm drunk and hanging out on the porch
- SomethingAwful.com's Photoshop Phriday: Lets Ruin Emotional Movie Moments!

Thank You For Being A Friend

Today the legenday Bea Arthur died, and I now want to watch Golden Girls, eat cheesecake and cry myself to sleep. Bea was the fiercest HBIC and when Becca texted me to tell me the news, I got teary eyed and almost ran over some drunk college frat boys at BU attempting to cross the street and go to the Sox game.

The Golden Girls are what my friends and I aspire to be someday - fabulous, fashionable, slutty women who enjoy gossiping, drinking, and sleeping with more men than most of the people my age do these days. Add that to the old person wonderland that is Miami, and you have a recipe for the happiest retirement plan on earth.

At the very least, Betty White is still out there picking up where Bea left off, and for that, I am eternally grateful. The Girls aren't finished just yet.

How Do I Make A Pussy Joke With A Dog Instead Of A Cat?

So Paris Hilton is modeling for Guess' Spring/Summer 09 Collection, because apparently Guess really wants to go bankrupt and fold during these trying times. I couldn't think of a less appealing line of ads, unless of course she was naked in the them.


First of all, she looks like a drag queen. And, nothing against drag queens, but whatever it is she's attempting to do with her face (look sexy? seductive? constipated?) isn't working, and, quite frankly, no one - man, woman, or one who dresses as such - should be wearing a fur vest poolside. It's terribly gauche.

The worst part about the whole thing is the poor dog (why hasn't PETA already started picketing for the poor thing?) who looks so supremely disgusted at the fact that he has to sit that close to her cavernous, man eating vagina. The look on his face clearly says "Bitch, please."It's a wonder her twat didn't burst free from her shorts (bikini bottom? hot pants?) and eat the dog whole. You know your life is sad when even Tinkerbell is grossed out by you.

Well done, Guess, well done. I'll be shopping at Bebe this season for my overpriced, tacky beach wear.

Mad for MadTV

So I'm watching my MadTV season 1 DVDs, and man did I forget how damn good the early seasons were. The skit on right now is the XXX Files and it's pure gold. Mad was a thousand times better than SNL up until the last few seasons. RIP, MadTV.

My Mind Has Been Blown

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Chuck Norris is 69 years old?!?!

How is that even humanly possible????

Burn After DCing

So I'm watching Burn After Reading (okay, only sort of - it's on but I keep getting distracted by other things, so I'm going to have to sit down and rewatch it later) and they keep showing shots of DC, and for the first time in over a year I actually miss the place. Not as in I want to move back, as politics is to DC as the entertainment industry is to LA, and I'm just not a proper political junky, but in the spring and fall it really is a beautiful city. This time of year the Cherry Blossoms have already come out, the weather's at least in the 60s, and the city is full of college students drinking obscene amounts of alcohol in protest of finals. 

Ah, to be young and in the nation's capitol again. God I miss college.

Goodnight, Sweet Prince

Fuck. I'm old. I am now officially 24 years old. 

I bid you adieu, early twenties! And I welcome you, mid-twenties. 

Just kidding, I need to drown myself in alcohol, wear my sorority letters, attempt to infiltrate a college, and pretend like I'm still in college and forever 21 and all that. Keg stand, anyone?

Too Close For Comfort

T-Minus 3 hours until I'm an old fuck. Well, if you want to nitpick, it's 4 hours and 21 minutes, as I was technically born at 1:19am, but still.

Running (Away) In Heels

Goddamn do I hate Ashley from Style's Running in Heels. I've met this bitch a few times in person, thanks to mutual friends back at GW, and she's done absolutely nothing to redeem herself. I know they edit the crap out of reality shows, and that they spin them to make the 'villain' and the 'heroine' and all that crap, but Ashley is a white trash, obnoxious, shockingly egotistical bitch. 

Also, she looks like that - all the time. Like, all the time. The only time she's ever even remotely smiling is when she's smirking over someone else's misfortune (which she does all the time, whether it be gloating over someone failing, gloating over stealing something from someone else, or gloating over how awesomely she screwed someone else over) and it makes me want to start shanking bitches left and right.

When You Go Down: The Pole vs. My Pole

So apparently Flo Rider's remix of "Right Round" isn't as dirty as I thought - it's about strippers, not about getting head/getting eaten out.

I still totally think it's about oral sex. And Benja-man Frank-a-lans.