Mystery Science Theater 3000

There comes a time in every young adult's life when they are first introduced to the wonder that is Mystery Science Theater 3000. I remember my MST3K de-virginization like it was yesterday: I was at my friend Kacey's house, and we were watching tv; Kacey remembered it was 8pm or what have you, and an awesome show as on that I would like; and then there it was - Prince of Space! Chicken aliens, lasers that don't do anything, and lots of shiny spandex. It was heaven on earth. Or heaven in space.

Cluck.

From that moment on, I obsessed over the show, catching every episode that I could, which eventually translated into buying way too many collections of the show on DVD - it cost nearly an arm and a leg, but for you, MST3K, I will bravely face amputation. It's everything that's wrong in the world, wrapped neatly in the beauty of everything that's right in the world. Take now, for instance - a movie about a zombie knock off of Rocky? With heaving man nipples and all? Made pure perfection.

9 out of 10 times I prefer Mike as the host, though Joel holds a stoned, sleepy, who-gives-a-shit place in my heart. And I can never quite decide if I like Pearl or Dr. Forrester better, though I do know that TV's Frank is the man I will someday marry. I love you, Frank.

Sophie's Hilarious Choice

Even today, some 12 years later (oh my god), the show remains a bastion of purity and amazingness, a comfort blanket for the wicked, a beautiful reminder of all that is pure in this world. And it's an amazing way to spend a night when all your friends and roommates are off being "adults" and "working" and all of that nonsense that Joel, Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo turn their noses up at. Then mock endlessly. Amen.